When I think about the dedicant path
and what I'm finding the hardest, this requirement is easily the
hardest for me to fulfill in terms of extraneous issues interfering
with my ability to do so. It would seem that for a new mom, the
simple task of finding some quiet time in which one can meditate can
be one of the hardest things to do. Between the near constant
tiredness and the seemingly never ending list of tasks, finding that
time and staying awake enough to actually meditate in some form
without falling asleep can be a challenge. However, this requirement
has also been the most insightful and rewarding for me, and from it,
I have developed a system that I believe works for me.
The first time I attempted this requirement, I wasn't particularly prepared for how difficult it would be to find the time, or how certain adjustments in approach would have to be made depending on how family life was going that week, and so when a bout of serious illness hit my little family, I found myself completely unprepared and so 'fell off the meditation wagon' (so to speak).
The second time, I decided to diversify my methodology to not only take into account the times I'm so exhausted I can barely see, but to integrate meditation into my life as a part of it as opposed to being apart from it. To this end, I downloaded several meditation mp3s that would hopefully keep my brain active enough to stay awake to meditate on the days that I'm tired, and I also incorporated more active forms of meditation as well as trance journeying. This was on top of the basic mindfulness meditation.
On average, I meditated about twice a week, but sometimes that could be as much as four times a week, and as little as once, and I began my second attempt on the week ending the 1st of November (finishing on the 1st of April).
Methods
As someone that has attended meditation classes before, I had a few techniques already at my disposal, however they were all from within a very Buddhist worldview. For example, 'Lovingkindness meditation', while a valuable exercise in reminding oneself of the connectedness of all beings on the planet and the necessity of compassion for all those things, is not something which I feel really speaks to my worldview too well, and so one of the personal goals I had for this requirement was to develop or find a kind of meditation that gave me the same sense of connectedness and care as Lovingkindness meditation, but from the standpoint of a more Druidic or Pagan worldview.
Another goal of mine with this in terms of concrete development was to do more work on the core meditation skills utilised in the practice of Seidr. Seidr is something which I have practiced for years but let slide during my pregnancy because of a personal geas regarding magical practice and pregnancy.
As I mentioned above, I utilised mp3s (specifically Ian Corrigan's 'Two Powers Meditation', Phillip Carr-Gomm's 'Journey to the Healing World of the Ovates', some binaural music, and trance drumming), I used active forms of meditation (mostly meditating while walking or doing tasks mindfully), I used mindfulness meditation, and I used more 'pathworking' types of meditation (specifically the Two Powers and the 'Five Souls' meditations). Some of those types morphed into another type over the course of the five months, for example, as I became more used to the format of the Two Powers meditation, I dropped the mp3 and it moved more into my 'pathworking' category. Other types eventually came to cross over in practice, eg walking meditation while listening to trance drumming.
Looking back, I realise that some of that was a fear of failure and wanting to be prepared, but the vast majority of that was my monkey brain finding sneakier ways of gaining distraction.
Even though I started out with so many different methods, as time went on, I found that they eventually became narrowed down to about four main methods of meditation:
*Mindfulness
*Fire and Water Balancing (From 'Our Own Druidry')
*Walking meditation
*The 'Three Doors' Meditation (own, see additional notes)
Furthermore, I came to categorise them into my own system which focuses on developing three areas:
*Connection with the Kindreds
*Connection with the natural world
*Mental discipline
To explain my categories a little; 'Three Doors Meditation' is how I practice and develop connectedness with the Kindreds; walking meditation is how I develop a sense of connectedness with the world around me; and mindfulness and Fire and Water balancing is how I develop my mental discipline. The mental discipline category makes possible the other two. In future, I would like to expand the section about connecting with the Kindreds by developing pathworking meditations that allow a person to engage with the creation of the cosmos and different parts of common IE cosmology. I would also like to include some 'lectio divina' (a form of meditative contemplation taken from Catholic tradition) in my work connecting with the natural world, but instead of focusing on the Bible like the Catholics do, on something natural instead (such as a tree, for example).
Insights and Reflexion
As I said at the beginning of this essay, this requirement has been the hardest but also the most insightful for me, and I have had several key realisations about this work.
The first is that simpler seems to be better, and that the sheer variety of meditative practices out there can sometimes only serve as yet another distraction for a particularly monkey-like brain. It took a few months to happen, but eventually my brain 'buckled down' to the work at hand.
Secondly, I've realised just how monkey-like my brain is and how integral meditation has become as a form of self maintainance. Before meditating regularly, I found it extremely hard to concentrate enough to read books, and that lack of concentration is something that definitely rears its head if I don't meditate enough. In all honesty, I'm considering seeking assessment for ADD, because this has really underscored how poor my concentration level is when I'm not proactively working on it.
Thirdly, I've realised that I have to be careful when using my breath to enter trance as I find the 'fourfold breath' somewhat panic-inducing, I know that this is down to past experience, and I know that I need to work on it.
In spite of these challenges though, this has been the most rewarding aspect of the DP, and I hope to continue this practice in the future. I spoke of rewards earlier, I feel like this practice has positively affected my whole life. A large reward for me has been the ability to read again without being too distracted to get past the first few pages. It's also made entering a ritual mindset far easier. But the biggest reward by far is that I've also found myself changing in that I've realised where I'm lacking, where my spirituality is lacking, and that I absolutely want to grow as an individual to be of service to the Kindreds, family, and community.
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The Three Doors Meditation
Begin by breathing deeply....Become aware of your breath as it enters your lungs filling them, and again as it leaves....Let this breath fill the whole of your awareness....Feel your eyes getting heavier...And heavier...Until they close....Breathe in, and out...If you're having any stray thoughts, see them as clouds, and allow them to float by...Simply observing without engaging....As your mind becomes clearer, you notice something in the darkness....The clearer your mind becomes, the closer this thing becomes.....The clearer your mind becomes, you notice that there are three things.....Coming closer....With clear mind, you see these three doors before you....Notice how they look to you, and remember....
Then, move towards the door on the left, feel the handle in your hand, and turn... See the purple light begin to spill out as you open the door fully. ..The light fills the darkness around you, dazzling you.. This is the door to the Shining Ones....Take a moment to feel the energy of the Shining Ones...Moving to the next door, open the door, once more taking the time to feel the handle in your hand and notice every detail you can. This time when you open it, there is blackness inside, but an illuminated blackness that is different from the darkness around you. This blackness is more that of a passageway or a cave rather than that of a void. This is the door to the Mighty Dead....Take a moment to feel the energy of the Mighty Dead......Move to the third and final door....and open as you did the other two. This time, green light spills out. Beautiful, verdant, and inviting....This is the door to the Noble spirits, the spirits of nature, or indeed any spirits that inhabit the world around us. ….Take a moment to feel the energy of the Noble Spirits.....Stand back and regard these doors.....which do you feel the most drawn to?..... Do you hear anything?....Do you feel called to speak prayers into any doors?.... Do any of these doors make you feel uncomfortable in any way?...... Why?.....Remember these reflexions....
When you feel you are done....simply speak thanks into each door...close them, and bring yourself back to consciousness as you would after any other meditation. Write your impressions in your journal. I find this useful to do during ritual too after creating the sacred centre and installing these doors in the sacred centre as part of the 'inner work' of the ritual.
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